Keeping Secrets in a Marriage

August 29, 2014 at 11:29 am

Everyone has things that they wish others would not know or discuss. One of the biggest things that people do when they are in relationships is keep secrets for a long time. Sometimes it starts off because telling the significant other might not be a good idea for mutual feelings; the secrets can be a real problem once you get further into the relationship and still do not want to tell them about the problems that you have had. The following article is about how secrets can destroy your marriage and why you need to be open about them in order to have a happy marriage.

Keeping Secrets While Married

When you are married it is a good idea to share everything with your partner no matter how bad it might be. As they are now your immediate family, it is going to seem difficult for you to keep anything away or justify not being upfront with them. The secrets that you have from many years prior are not that problematic, but you need to make sure to confront them earlier rather than later.

If you keep secrets, there will be times when your partner feels more betrayed by the fact they did not know something rather than the content of the secret itself. Sometimes it is best if you just make sure they know everything about you before you offer to get married so that they have a fair chance to make some sort of decision based on those skeletons in the closet.

Taking Secrets too Far

The biggest problem that people have is when they have a small secret and there is fear that the partner will not accept it. When this is the case, the fear can prove so overwhelming that the secret is never mentioned. Sometimes procrastination is a major problem with marriage and relationships in general. One person has a secret and constantly tells themselves that it is better to tell their partner at a later time. Eventually that time never comes and it ends up going untold.

Secrets are not inherently bad, but when it comes to a married couple, finding out things that you should know about your partner can be devastating. It can lead to a lot of fighting, it can lead to misunderstandings, and it can ruin the happiness of your marriage. The misunderstandings that you might have because of a lack of knowledge of your secrets can be a huge problem.