“Sorry”: What it can do to save your marriage

December 4, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Saying a sincere “sorry” heals wounds and can save broken relationships.

“I would love and honor you in sickness and health. I’d be with you for better or for worse.” Have you already forgotten this promise you made to each other when you tied the knot?

arguing couple

Married life is not always smooth sailing. It is inevitable for couples to argue, disagree, and fight over certain issues.  But this should not be a sign for you to pack up your things and leave; for escaping a troubled phase in your married life will never solve your problems – at all!

Sadly, in many cases, couples would readily point an accusing finger at each other without even reflecting about their own faults.  One’s own judgment tends to be clouded by anger.  And when you are overwhelmed with anger, you are tearing yourselves apart.  Then, pride sets in.

Pride now becomes the stumbling block to a non-confrontational dialogue between the two of you. It is also pride that prevents you from saying ‘sorry’.  The thing is, the longer you hold on to that pride, the greater the rift and the deeper the hurt you cause each other.

Yes, it may be the most difficult word to utter, but making the first move to say you are sincerely sorry for your behaviour paves the way to reconciliation and healing of emotions. Asking for and accepting forgiveness is neither equivalent to losing your power over your spouse, nor a diminishing factor in your level of self-esteem.

a recon

Actually, the hardest part in asking an apology is in the “how to do it”, especially if the injury is severe.  Check on what writer Brooke Ryan’s recommendations on how to say “I’m sorry” and really mean it.

Most importantly, make it a habit to keep your communication line open at all times.  It is the key to a healthy and happy married life.  After all, there is no problem so big that cannot be resolved by sensible communication.